2007 Reflection

As the year draws near to a close I am left to reflect the past year. I can full heartedly say it has been one interesting year. The year has been full of many emotions, some up & some down.

Some of the greatest highlights have been shared with family. My amazing daughters have filled my days with so much joy. I have watched them grow over the year into these incredible young ladies of substance. They are true blue, what you see is what you get. I am proud of them as a parent. They have walked the walk of faith and have stayed true to their faith. Girls you are mighty young ladies of God with a heart for his work. Well done my sweets.

I celebrated my 16th wedding anniversary with the one true love of my life. In the world we live in I am proud to say that Jason is my best friend & my one and only. ( I still think he's sexy)lol.... After 16 years of marriage & 18 of partnership he still the one for me. Jason thank you for loving me and being my rock during this turbulent year. The world tried to kick us down but as usual you & I together can take anything on. When the enemy meant to destroy us only made us stronger.

As we enter the new year I go in with a renewed vision & a renewed passion for His work. I can honestly say the wind was kicked out of me momentarily but you can't keep a good woman down. I picked myself up, dusted the dirt off, squared my shoulders back and got back in the saddle. So to speak......

As many of you know I am a strong opinionated women & I'm not afraid of speaking my mind. So I could not pass on the opportunity to speak out.
The last six months have been like none I have experienced before. I have kept silent for a long time but I felt the need to clear the air and go in with a clear heart into 2008. Jason & I did not leave our youth by choice we left because we had no choice. Yet people act like we did something wrong. All we did was leave to protect someone else's secret and we remained silent because we had to. It has been a real trip to see so many Christian's act so unchristian. The amount of grace, love, compassion, and ministry showed by these mature grace giving Christians has been a real joke. All I can say is thank you for showing your true colors and for letting us see who you really were. I was really deeply hurt at first by these peoples actions because many I considered friends but now I'm just disappointed in their spiritual maturity.

In many ways you have inspired me to go out and really make a difference, to create an environment or culture of church where people are really ministered to. I want people to know that God loves them all the time and He excepts them just where they are. It amazes me how we judge others so freely but we fail to judge ourselves. We are not perfect we live in an imperfect world but yet we look down on others and pass judgment on sin we've mastered but what about the sin that masters you?

I could go on but I won't. I want out of 2008 a year of sincerity, a year of growth, and most of all a year of healing.

As I go into this year I leave a lot behind. Some great memories with people I love & cherish & some painful memories with people I am trying to forget.

So 2008 look out we are gearing up to Dominate this area for Christ....

What Are Your Actions Saying Part 2

As I keep reading through this book unChristian my main thought is: It is no wonder why society is rejecting Christianity.

Truth is, they are not really rejecting Jesus they are rejecting the person who is selling their version of Christianity. Many things have been said about this generation. This generation of mosaics and busters are diverse and extremely unique but most of all I give them credit for one thing. They can see right through us. It is interesting to hear what they think. The remarks and statistics are staggering.

I apologize if I sound upset but their are over 50 million people out their who feel we are not authentic because our words and actions don't line up.

So, here is my challenge. Perception is truth to the person who feels it is or is living the experience. It is not about being right, it is about validating what the person has experienced.

When prophecy was given about the church being a hospital it was not to heal the hurts the church inflicted on it's people it was to heal the lost and hurting beyond the church walls. We have distorted that tremendously.

As Christians we need to let our yes be yes and our no be no. We need to mean what we say and say what we mean. If you truly are a grace giving church then give it, if you're walking in forgiveness then live it, and if you're truly sorry than say it. Am I saying I am there.... no I'm not. What I am saying is I personally have experienced it firsthand and I know how hard it really is.

All I am saying is we need to get it right. We need to change our approach and how we do church. There is a generation out there lost ..........lost to us and the gap is getting bigger. We are losing ground and yet we remain self absorbed and ignorant to what is happening.

This book I am currently reading called unChristian is about "What this generation really thinks about Christianity .......and why it matters."

It really does matter. If I who have been saved for over 14 years feel or have experienced things that no person should have to at a church, what hope do we have of reaching those who have never been to church. How can we reach them when we can't get it right ourselves.

Simply food for thought.

What Are Your Actions Saying Part 1

Over the past six months I have learned that actions speak louder than words. I was reading a book today my husband got in the mail called unChristian. This really got me thinking about a lot of things that have gone on.

I have discovered that people always give the politically correct answer or they pick the one that sounds the most spiritual in an effort to make themselves appear super holy. I will admit that I have answered that way before. When someone asked, "How are you?" My answer was, "Oh I'm great," and realistically everything is a mess. My favorite, "it's great to see you", and you know they were secretly hoping you did not see them and they just couldn't get out of the isle in time. Not that I have ever done that.....(LOL) The truth is we give lip service. Yep that is right lip service!!!!!!!

Some us walk around quoting scripture. We can quote from Genesis to Revelation. We have a scripture for every occasion kind of like Hallmark has a card for every occasion. But my question is...can we live it? I have heard it all: I forgive you, we love you, were praying for you, and were showing you grace. All which sound extremely ironic because they are "said" not done. They become empty words when delivered without action.

So here is my point......Don't say the words if you don't mean them and surely don't say them if you can't live them. It is awful to hear and painful to swallow.

I can honestly say if one more Pastor says were here to see you through and then you never hear from them again or we are grace with an attitude then they snub you. I can't take one more bloated slogan or tag line meant to catch your attention when I personally have not felt any of what your offering. I might have to repent for the actions that will follow. (jk)

Going Forward

Thanks for the continued prayers and support you guys have been awesome. My mom is doing great and my family is doing well. My girls are amazing. They are the best girls in the whole world. I could not have asked for better daughters. They really have it together.

We are currently looking ahead to our church plant and are excited about what God is doing. He is bringing together a great launch team that has a passion to change this area for Christ. Please continue to pray for us as we begin a new chapter in our lives. We are beyond ecstatic and grateful for God's provision. He will supply all our needs above and beyond what we can comprehend.


It is amazing to see doors open where others had been shut. What the enemy meant to destroy us with God used for His Glory. My advise, keep your eyes on God because man will only let you down.......................

Thank you Father for showing us what real grace looks like and for being there to pick us up when we were down. I can honestly say you were constant in our lives you never left us and you never forsake us.

Gaining Perspecitive

It has been a long time since I have signed in. I needed some time to separate myself from everything that was happening and gain some perspective.

Things are finally settling down and returning to somewhat normal. I would say normal but I'm not a normal person so that would not be true.(lol) I wanted to thank everyone who has prayed and supported us over the last 4 months. I will admit it has been a difficult journey that we have not always handled well. When life changes sometimes and it changes in ways that you don't expect you kind of get lost in the process.

For years Jason and I have been in ministry and it has been our whole lives. it was devastating to wake up one morning and literally not have it. It kind of takes a little piece of who you are. It was hard to find my barrings and it was even harder to find myself. In some way my identity was wrapped into what we did.

When I lost that I felt as if I had lost myself. Of course I realize that who I am in Christ Jesus never changes but our perspective changes. I guess I should say how we view ourselves changes. I know today that we gain our confidence from Christ and I know that God loves us and wants what is best for us.

So even though men disappoint us and life changes God never changes. He remains the same. He remains constant in our lives and we are loving Him and serving Him on His terms now.

Once again thank you for praying for us it has been a long narrow road and a weary traveled one. We really do appreciate the prayers and the words of encouragement you have send our way.

God is not done with us and we know that in time God will heal and somehow use what the enemy has caused great pain with for His glory. God can turn around this situation after all we are all children of the most high.

Be Still

So many things happen on a daily basis that if you are not careful you here those voices and forget to here the voice of God. I've been there lately to much for my liking. It seems like time, people, and the whole world are spinning around and I'm trying my best to be still. I know be still and know that He is God or be anxious for nothing. Of course I should cast my cares on Him because He cares but really folks. If it were that easy most of the world would not be struggling and we would all live in a perfect place. You and I both know that is not so.

It seems like our brain knows what to do and our hearts should follow but it is not always that easy. We are all human and our emotions play a huge part of how we feel. I have been in ministry for over 12 years and I can honestly say I thought once I made that commitment every thing would fall in place. That was me being naive. I guess you know the answer, that didn't happen. Those of you in ministry know that most of your real hurts in life come from those you serve. Those cut the deepest.

It is important to remember your not in this alone. God is with you and He is faithful. Joy does come in the morning and the darkness turns to light if you let it.
I can honestly say I haven't felt much joy lately and things have been stressful and confusing. I have often asked God why am I here and what is my purpose. I have really felt I don't fit and why did you bring us here? I absolutely love the teens we minister to but there are other contributing factors that make it difficult and stressful. I am not ungrateful and I am appreciative of the opportunity to serve and lead such a great team of teens. They have been the greatest team and by far the best part of our job.

All I can say is that God has a plan. I don't know what that plan is or how I fit into it but I know He has one.

It's time to face those giants in my life and stop having a pity party. I never much liked those anyway.

We Need A Hero!

In light of the recent massacres at Virginia Tech it led me to think, "What in the World?" What in the world is going on? How can a young man march into a major university and violently take their lives?

It is hard to comprehend that I am living in era with such hatred and anger that leads one to take the life of another. It angers me that VT has lost it's innocence at the hands of a selfish murder. It angers me that mothers and fathers will go to bed tonight and know that their loved ones are gone. I can't tell you how much it angers me and how I hurt for those parents to be robbed of so many precious memories, weddings , graduations, and grandchildren just to name a few. But nothing angers me more than to know that as a nation and a church we do nothing.

Yes I mean nothing. It is no coincidence that the moral bankruptcy of our nation is tied into the time the bible was taken out of our schools. It no coincidence that we went completely bankrupt when we as church stood by silently. We have no one to blame but ourselves. We pick each other apart and flex our muscle as a church to prove we are better than others but are we really? We are arrogant in our thinking. We are so busy with our bravado and our building programs to impress those that come through our doors. Jesus didn't need a building He went to them!!!!!!! He didn't say build it and they will come He said go into the streets and the byways. He said feed my children. I am grateful for what we have, but in the grand scheme of eternity, if we aren't reaching them it does not matter how pretty it is.

If we as a church stood our ground and voiced our concern then maybe just maybe we can make a difference. I support missions and respect the work and the role a missionary has in the local church. What I don't get is how we support so many missionaries but we fail to support our own local outreach. We need to reach our communities, neighbors, and impact our schools . Nothings peeves me more than to cut out outreach events because we have no budget. We have about 32,000 teens in our community and we are only reaching a very small percentage of them. It is not lack of passion it is about the math. Our own backyards are huge mission fields and yet we send our money into foreign countries. Come on people how lame are we.

It reminds me of a youth conference we were at in Pensacola Florida in the 90's and a pastor gave a heart wrenching testimony about his youth group. He talked about a young man that was in his group, a guy that was hard to love. You know we all have one of those. He said he tried really hard but Brian was just tough and a hard case to deal with. He went on to say they planned a fun day at a theme park and Brian walked around by himself all day and no one would talk to him. Well, Brian today is know as Marilyn Manson one of the most influential shock artists this generation has ever seen. Today he is single-handedly leading thousands to hell with him and he knows it. You see, Brian has a huge hatred for the church and the hypocrisy it stood for. I can't say I blame him. While we dance around political correctness, not being offensive, and making sure we stay neutral on all issues, he and others launch an all out assault on our teens. What is wrong with us?

To the families of VT our heartfelt prayers go out to you. We are praying for you and standing firm with you. We will not forget and we will learn from this. It is our prayer to impact our generation for Christ and leave no teen behind.